U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
