Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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