yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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