Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
