I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
