let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
