She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize