4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
