I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
