All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
