Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
