I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
being pregnant is like rehab
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dear god my vagina.
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