remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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