xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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