Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
