im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No more Irish car bombs ever.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
