who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
