why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
