I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
