If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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