She is in my trunk
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
