Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
