he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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