I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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