I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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