The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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