well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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