My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
