I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
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