But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
