i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
