wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
