I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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