I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
