Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize