I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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