she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
