Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize