White coat. Heels.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How external is "for external use only"?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
