im drinking this country out of the recession.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
