Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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