I wish I could teleport
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have aggressive nipples.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
