If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
