Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We are two peas in an std pod
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My vagina is very pro this idea
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
