I smell stomach acid.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
