You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Hippo gnu deer
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
