I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
farters have to be the big spoon...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Damn victory sex feels great
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
