I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
