how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
