and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
