I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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