i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
