"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
