We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
