I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
