my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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