Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
