I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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