I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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