when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
