Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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