HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
