Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
