Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
