Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Randomize
