Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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