question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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