My cat gives me a boner
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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