Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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